The Power of the In-Between: 5 Truths About Living Authentically

Death is not normal. God never intended death to be the final answer. Death never feels normal to anyone who has lost a loved one; no matter how much time has passed, the moment of loss often feels frozen, as if time has stopped. Jesus presented death not as an absolute end but as a temporary state. In the same way, life is also temporary — we live and die, spending the years in between wrestling with the question of why we have had to endure what we have endured.

Diseases like cancer, Alzheimer’s, and severe depression have become some of a family’s deepest fears. All too often we know someone who has died from one of these illnesses, or we experience a close family member fighting—or succumbing to—these devastating conditions.

But in between birth and death there is life. While each of us holds our own views about a higher intelligence or designer, understanding precisely why we are made to experience both joy and suffering is beyond our ability to fully comprehend.

We feel the lowest of lows and the highest of highs, and in both extremes our brains will always try to self-preserve. When we endure the death of a loved one, the brain slowly adapts by building new neural pathways; although this is a gradual, long-term process, for many people resilience ultimately becomes the typical outcome. Same for life, the brain interprets life through sensory input, emotion, and memory, actively shaping its own structure through experience-driven plasticity and continuously reorganizing neural connections as we learn, feel, and interact.

This is why the in-between is important. We must experience life in the way God intended us to experience it, embracing the small moments as well as the big ones. God has made each of us different, and because of this we all encounter life in unique ways; what brings joy to me may not do the same for you. I like the color blue (I really do), while you may prefer red. Still, we should strive to live as authentically as possible. The decisions we make today will shape and influence our future.

Here are 5 key takeaways about living authentically

1. The “in-between” is where meaning actually happens
   Life is not just birth and death — it’s the time between them. Authentic living means paying attention to ordinary moments, not just milestones or tragedies.

2. Suffering and joy are both part of the human design
   We don’t fully understand why we experience pain or happiness, but authenticity comes from accepting both instead of pretending life should only feel good.

3. Your brain adapts — so your identity can grow
   Through experience and neuroplasticity, the brain reshapes itself. This means you are not fixed; living authentically involves allowing yourself to change, heal, and evolve.

4. Uniqueness is intentional, not accidental
   People value different things (blue vs. red). Authenticity requires embracing what genuinely brings you meaning rather than copying what fulfills others.

5. Today’s choices quietly build tomorrow’s life
   Authentic living is not one big decision — it’s daily alignment between beliefs, actions, and values. Small consistent choices shape your future self.

A blank canvas feels a lot like life itself — quiet, open, and a little intimidating. Nothing is wrong yet, but nothing is meaningful either until you decide to act. Living authentically is choosing what to place on that canvas without tracing someone else’s sketch. Some strokes will be bold, others hesitant; some will need to be painted over. Like our experiences, joy and suffering both add depth, contrast, and texture. Over time the painting changes you as much as you change it, because each decision reshapes how you see the next one. The goal is not perfection, but honesty — to step back and recognize that what fills the canvas truly came from you.

Best,

Tony